The human need for connection

Paying attention to our loved ones is the lifeblood of our relationships. The yearning for connection and communication runs deep in the human soul and nothing can take its place.

And given the modern tendency towards distraction and multitasking, it is now more challenging than ever to give our significant others our full attention.

Our go-to relationship expert Dr. Gottman has found that happy couples respond to each other’s need for attention by responding to "bids for connection".

According to Dr. Gottman, "it’s not the depth of intimacy in conversations that matters. Maybe it doesn’t even matter whether couples agree or disagree. Maybe the important thing is how these people pay attention to each other, no matter what they’re talking about or doing."

In other words, successful couples are attentive. They listen, and they put their phones down when the other person wants their attention.

So one of the simplest ways to improve our relationships is by 
making and responding to bids for connection.


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