The little known secret to calmer, happier family life

Do you find yourself forever putting out fires, reactive, nagging, stressed when dealing with your children? Do you wish that for once your children would do what they are supposed to, without nagging, that they would help out, step up to the plate? What if therewasa better way to manage family life? 

In my experience, family meetings are a wonderful way to short circuit much of the chaos that ensues when there are no formal rules, set expectations or consequences for rule breaking. The meetings provide a regular format for the family to discuss concerns at a time when people are calm as opposed to stressed (when was the last time you did that?) and to come up with solutions together which work for everyone in the family. 

Family meetings provide everyone in the household with a voice. Both children and adults get the vital message that they and their input is important to the smooth functioning of family. Even young children can be encouraged to participate and speak up...

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The first five minutes

You have had a hard day and are at the end of your rope. Maybe it is all his fault or maybe it is something else. It is nearly time for your significant other to come home. You cannot wait to vent. To “have it out” with him or just to “let it all out”. 

Consider this: The first few minutes of the interaction after you have been away from each other sets the tone for the rest of the evening. If you can just hang in there for a few minutes and greet your significant other and welcome them, the effort will be worth your while. 

It is much more productive to have a de-stressing conversation when both of you are calm and ready to listen. 

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The little things are the big things!

Couples in therapy are often surprised to see how little it can take to turn the course of a distressed relationship. Small everyday acts of kindness and appreciation can make a big difference to the overall health of your relationship. 

Can you remember some of the little things that you used to do but are no longer doing? The exchange of a newsworthy story at breakfast? The telephone call at lunchtime just to “check in”? Making sure there is enough toothpaste/toilet paper/soap for your spouse before they go into the shower? The little hug or cuddle at the end of the day? 

Start doing little acts of kindness and see how the climate of your relationship improves. 

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Parents: Don’t Zip it

blogs islamicparenting Sep 18, 2012

Parents often assume that children know where they stand on important ethical issues and moral values. Consider this: our children arereceivingvalue based messages fromtheirenvironment:theirpeers,theirschool, the media and society at large. If we as parents are silent about our values, ours is the only voice that is absent in thecacophonythat helps shape their moral identity. 

Speak up! State where you stand on important issues and invite your children to discuss moral and ethical issues with you.Researchshows that children who debate and discuss moraldilemmasat home are less likely to engage in risky behaviour as teenagers. 

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